Monday, January 11, 2010

I'm stuck, restless, antsy.  I'm tired of being in my head.  I want to be someone else, do something else... something.  I don't know.

Everything is fine.  I'm happy, the kids are healthy and good.  The boys have a new found closeness that is gorgeous to see.  Lexie got her midterm grades and they are miles better than last quarter.  Christopher is making progress.  Joshua will be four (4!!) in a week.  S is well - job stress kept to a minimum.  I've been playing Super Mario Brothers on the Wii, and even though I can't get past the stupid castle I'm working on yet, I know I will.  I have a husband who loves me like crazy, fantastic children I adore, a house I love, more than enough food in our cabinets, money enough to pay our bills, my health and the health of my family. 

So what the hell is wrong with me?  Why do I feel like I'm wearing the wrong skin?  I want to do something crazy and outrageous, something that will irrevocably change everything.  But there's nothing in my life that needs changing.  Everything is good the way it is.  I know this.  But knowing and feeling aren't always in sync. 

I'm sure it will all work itself out.  Without me doing anything I'm sure I'd end up regretting eventually.  But I wish it'd hurry up, I'm tired of feeling like this.

2 comments:

zoot said...

Man...I know how you feel. Some days I feel like logic indicates I should be happy but - I'm just not. Other days, I'm fine. If you find the solution for days/moods like this...let me know. ;)

Becky said...

Hi! Stopped by to say thanks for leaving me a comment. I like your blog - I'll definitely be returning!

 

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